Some of me and my story, extended version (8 min. read)
Hi, I'm Dana. I’m an artist and creativity teacher. For over 25 years, I’ve been devoted to creativity as a transformative healing force in my own life as a cycle breaker. (Read more about that in the second section below)
And while that connection between who I am and the art I make is indelible, I feel it’s important to say that my visual art is not “about” that. My artwork is something of me, perhaps — and something that comes through me. But it is typically not “about” me, nor about anything. It’s visual residue of a conversation that occurred between me, my curiosity and impulses, some materials, a larger intelligence/mystery, and my seeking some type of freedom that’s hard to define.
I’ve shared my artwork, teaching, writing and performance with small audiences in a variety of contexts, mainly in the Northampton & Easthampton area of Western Massachusetts. In addition to my solo art-making practices and journaling habit, participatory arts like modern dance, polyphonic shape-note singing, autobiographical theater, and playing drums in bands have also figured significantly in my ecosystem of outlets.
Lately (2026) I’m very compelled by the theatrical art form of Bouffon! A bouffon is a grotesque, satirical theater character focused on mockery, originating from ancient Roman roots and revived in modern performance by Jacques Lecoq. The bouffon:
is a grotesque outsider who mocks and mirrors society
Uses wild play, parody, and physical exaggeration
Confronts heavy themes like power, greed, and war
Does not care what the audience thinks
Plays without shame
In the 2020s, so far, I have: Moved twice, played drums on two EPs (with Psychic Energy and Ex-Temper), started working on a book idea, made whole new body of art called DECONTEXTUALIZED, took great poetry workshops and had an art exhibit at the 2025 Great Mother Conference in Maine. I’ve also been a longterm member of Book Buddies, and taken studio workshops in Bouffon and theatrical Clown.
Some BACKGROUND STORY:
My faith in creativity & the arts plus my being a cycle-breaker (recovering scapegoat, survivor, black sheep) are inseparable pillars of who I am more than any other identities I could also claim. And I see both as inherently political.
I was already resisting the abusive aspects of our society and culture at large — and their manifestations within my family system in particular — during my late teens and twenties, even if I didn’t yet understand the nature and history of the problem, nor how much damaged it had caused me.
My true commitment to creativity as my center was made right after college when I was finally free, for the first time, from the constraints, agendas, and authority of school and family. And one of the very first things I did that summer, at the recommendation of a friend I admired, was to complete The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, the famous self-help course book in creative recovery, by Julia Cameron.
Despite growing up atheist, biased against religion, and devoid of any spiritual touchstones rooted in my ancestral heritage, I still somehow resonated with the Basic Principles of creativity as laid out in the book. I credit those principles with guiding me safely through to the shore of what would be a tenuous, dicey, gritty adventure phase that immediately followed, and lasted a few years.
That era included depression/shutdown, homelessness, travel/transience, alienation, increasing conflict with family and friends, explorations of counterculture and activism, then a painful breakup that severely inflamed my symptoms of unaddressed Complex Trauma that had been simmering, unattended, for many years. It catalyzed a type of “ego death” for which I was not prepared, severely disoriented me, and knocked me on my ass in a disabling way. The crisis landed me in the office/studio of an arts-based trauma therapist who ended up helping me enormously.
At 27, the stark futility of trying to fight to be understood (loved) by my parents and/or of fawning to “fix” things that were never my fault — and the actual danger of staying involved in the toxic dynamic with them — all became clear to me. I knew that I needed to entirely disengage from the abusive narcissistic family system as a whole in order to begin healing and maturing. You can’t recover from something that’s still happening. That was step one.
I also had to walk away from the particular subculture of activism I’d been involved with. Giving up my place/role in both groups was a huge loss but necessary to not just save my own life, but also to prevent myself from becoming part of the problem: i.e. the problem of hurt, traumatized, self-righteous people trying to “help” or “change” the world while being driven by unconscious issues, wounds, triggers, distorted beliefs and motivations that can turn them into a version of the very thing they’re allegedly fighting against!
Part of why I needed to step away from my anti-racist activism at the time was that my crisis had made me painfully aware that I was a walking nerve ending of trauma reactivity (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) who was vulnerable to causing and/or falling victim to all kinds of problematic interpersonal scenarios due to not having a clear handle on my own inner life and the injuries it had long ago sustained but never received care for. Plus I literally couldn’t show up for it anymore, due to the flare-up of symptoms I was having.
The effects of narcissistic abuse (with a white patriarchal misogynist twist) from Boomer parents; the scapegoating, emotional neglect, and SA — among other things — took a toll on my nervous system which I will be dealing with on some level for the rest of my life. Plus, all of us are still living within the same old world/conditions/norms that raise and protect abusers, blame victims, and reward abusive/exploitative behavior, systems, and institutions — so, there’s no escape anyway!
A lot of these sick systems seem to be failing and crumbling as the truth of them gets exposed to the light of day in recent years, so that’s something. But then so is the extreme backlash to the revelations and progress.
Anyway: I was, blessedly, able to get effective therapeutic treatment outside of the “mental health” industrial complex. The Artist’s Way, alone, would never have been sufficient to address the what needed care and attention in my psyche. And yet, without The Artist’s Way, it’s unlikely that I would have ever connected with that therapist!
Soon after starting sessions with her, I experienced prolific artistic outflow, and new types/qualities of imagery emerged in my work. More freedom, joy, playfulness, authenticity showed up as compared to the lexicon of fairly dark, tight, tangled, unconscious, and sometimes scary imagery that I’d been generating alone in my sketchbook up to that point. This highlights how powerful it can be to have a compassionate, non-shaming, abuse-informed person to finally witness you.
Eventually I had a nice pile of new art work, got some of it scanned and printed, bought some cheap frames from Acme Surplus, and started having little art exhibits all around town.
I received a lot of great feedback from viewers in person and in my comment book, which was very encouraging. I also started participating more in community-based things like: Sacred Harp shape-note singing, an intergenerational modern dance company, a spoken word poetry scene, and eventually the local band scene years later. I also served on the Northampton Arts Council for three years, started facilitating my own expressive arts workshops in various settings, and became a core member of a scrappy artist collective/non-profit that did some very cool projects in underutilized spaces in town — the only lasting, visible one being the 128-foot sound wave mural at the North Street underpass!
***
I see creativity as the spiritual mechanism that braids together the three main threads of what used to seem like “disparate” passions in my own life: for the artistic, the activistic, and the healing/therapeutic.
Back then, before social media and smartphones, I was pursuing these things largely by myself, in the margins — minus a larger context, community, or perspective that might have placed me in the picture of something bigger.
Whatever little support and inspiration I did have back then (and there was some) mattered a lot!
But in more recent years, following both the mass adoption of social media and the rise of high profile social justice movements like MeToo and BLM, I’ve learned that there are more individuals, communities, and conversations than I could have imagined that are integrating all these things into holistic, transformative movements for change.
As I see and experience it, art + activism + healing aren’t disparate at all. They’re united in a drive towards truth, wholeness, justice, repair, transformation, freedom, and indigenous wisdom rooted in reciprocity with nature.
In my case, I see these passions rooted in my earliest sense, as a kid, that:
Something is very wrong — in my family and in the world at large — and almost everyone is in denial about it
The American Dream (and its corresponding gender roles and prescriptions for what a conventional adulthood should look like) is a creepy lie and I’m not interested in being part of it
I must walk my own path
Nature, animals, music, and art are my reliable sources of attunement, love, comfort, belonging
Why I was the one person in my family of origin carrying this perception, sensitivity, and lack of willingness to play my assigned roles and “get with the program,” I will probably never know. I was always different, and I’m not sure why.
***
The only “leadership” or “team player” position I ever felt truly drawn to and well suited for, as an introvert, was: D R U M M E R.
As in rock band drummer.
I’d wanted to play since I was in 5th grade, but was thwarted by acute lack of support at home (“You’re not playing the drums”), lack of relevant modern rock/pop music education at school or in the local community, and a lack of relatable girl or women role models in the 1980s-90s male dominated rock music culture that I grew up consuming. Alt/indie/punk artists and bands gave me little fleeting glimpses of women who actually played instruments but it was too few and far between, rarely drums, and it was all too distant or abstract. Like, as for female peers playing instruments in cool local bands who I could go see and/or talk to? I can only think of one during my whole 20s, a local bassist/vocalist who I swooned over. Part of this, ironically, was due to my general avoidance of socializing in bars during that time. I have since learned there were quite a few women indie rockers in our local music scene back then — I just wasn’t at their gigs because that scene revolved around bars!
By in 2013 (at age 38), I had done enough healing/repair work inside myself that I finally had the bandwidth and chutzpa to finally take the drumming impetus seriously, however “late” to the game I might be.
I announced to my therapist that I was ready to, at least temporarily, replace therapy sessions with drum lessons!
She gave me a high five.
I got a teacher. I practiced a lot, I eventually bought my own used drum kit, I attended a Rock & Roll camp for adult women in Boston, and I was in my first gigging band playing original songs by 2015. That first band was all dudes.
The second band I joined was the excellent “witch grunge” four-piece band Ex-Temper, which was all women. I was their drummer for seven years, 2016-2023. I was also in a very fun indie rock trio, Psychic Energy 2018-2020, with Candace Clement (All Feels, Bunny’s a Swine) and Josh Levy (Outro). See some band photos below!
Becoming a late-blooming musician led to further local community connections and involvement when I got a job at Downtown Sounds (music instruments, lessons, and repair) while it transitioned to becoming a worker-owned cooperative business after 40 years of being owned by one guy. Not only did I get to learn a ton about music gear and the retail side of it (also a male-dominated industry), but I was also in charge of managing, marketing, and improving the Music School. I became a new and encouraging presence and helped begin to make it a more welcoming environment for girls, women, queer & nonbinary people, and adult beginners.
I have a lot more to say about my own story with creativity and its role in change/transformation beyond the individual. That’s why I’m attempting to write a book… though I’m not 100% sure long form writing for an audience is my bag. TBD!
DANA
